Now that I am home and have had some time to think about my situation I can finally wrap my head around what happened and can share my story...
All the walking in the mission field became a problem week 2. By the end of the day my foot would be throbbing and swollen. I tried icing, ibuprofen, elevating, compression socks, and yet nothing was helping. So after about a month of that I just decided to put it in the Lord's hands and keep working. In October my lovely new companion Sister Bartholomew noticed my foot and highly recommended me going to the doctor. So I finally did which is when I got put in a boot for about a month, when I went back for a follow up appointment the doctor said it wasn't getting better. This was the first time I was told that it might be a good idea to go home. She told me, "you can't help anyone else if you aren't well." I knew the truth behind that...just like we can't preach the gospel if we don't have a testimony for our self. It stung to hear her say that, I had worked so hard to get there and I didn't want to leave. I loved what I was doing, I loved the people. So being stubborn like I am my mission doctor suggested seeing another doctor for a second opinion...well that doctor didn't say much different. He told me to go to physical therapy for 2 months and then to come back to see if I need surgery. I was worried and concerned, but was going to be able to see my mission doctor in two days at zone conference. It was just after lunch when I was called back to go see him. I sat down, he asked me to go over with him what the doctors said, and then he looked at me and asked "how long have you been out?" I instantly knew the meaning behind that question...I told him about 5 months and he looked at me with disappointment and sighed and the next words that came out of his mouth was, "I think its best for you to go home, I obviously don't make that decision but I am going to highly recommend it to President Turner." I began to cry. I felt as though my mission had ended right there, I lost hope..it was so hard to walk back in that meeting, I sat down next to my companion and she asked how it went, I told her I was getting sent home and that was it, we weren't able to talk about it until later that night when I met with the President. When President Turner brought me in he asked how I was feeling, and I couldn't even say a word. We sat down and he said, "Well sister Rice lets get you home! and get you better!" He counseled with me about taking the time to heal and to figure out what Im suppose to learn from it all. He then told me how slim it is that missionaries return back to the mission after getting sent home but that I would be welcomed to come back. I just sat there crying...I didn't get it at all. We drove home that night in silence..
The next couple days were rough! I had to start packing, saying good byes, and waiting and waiting and waiting for a phone call to tell me when I was leaving. I found out Sunday night, drove to Columbia Monday, and by Tuesday was on a plane back home. It all happened so fast.
The day I flew home was very long...I was up at 2 a.m and didn't fly in until 6:30 p.m
I was so excited to be surrounded my family and friends, it was so nice to be able to see them all again and especially right before Christmas.
Now I look back and can't believe I have been home for a month! Time just flies by. The transition has been a roller coaster ride and each day has a different emotion or feeling about my situation. I've been angry, hurt, frustrated, content, happy, depressed, but over all at peace with my Heavenly Father's plan for me. I am taking it one day at a time. This has been one of the hardest things I've faced in my life but I am trusting in the Lord. I miss the mission, I miss Anderson, I miss the missionaries, the rocking chairs, the clouds, people saying Yall, my investigators. But I know that this is where I am suppose to be right now, and maybe I dont see why but Heavenly Father knows why, so I trust Him and take it day by day.
That Saturday after I got home was rough but also one of my best days ever! Joe, a man I had been teaching since the 2nd day in the field, got baptized!!! I was heart broken to miss that and not be there to support him but I was filled with joy to know that no matte what the future holds(returning to the mission or not) at least I helped one person change their life and make those covenants.
" And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!" Doctrine and Covenants 18:15
Thanks for your story, Micaela. I have seen experiences of others close to me, when they had to come home early. It's great to hear that you have a good support system. One of the biggest challenges I saw was people not understanding the illnesses/issues that resulted in the early return. Compounded by the pain/frustration of the individual having to come home early.
ReplyDeleteIt's not an easy road, and there may be some that don't understand. But it's great to see your resolve is in the right place. You are where you are needed right now. We may not have the reason why, but God doesn't make mistakes. Keep doing what you're doing - Trust God.
Thank you:) it has been an adjustment but I think I have a pretty positive attitude towards it in my circumstances. and a huge part is the support I have from family and friends.
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